


Still Life With Camel

by Bobcatmoran



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Camels - Freeform, Canon Era, Humor, Zoological Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1364263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobcatmoran/pseuds/Bobcatmoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Joly and Bossuet go to the Jardin des Plantes, visit the camel, and wind up disturbing the other zoo-goers as they crack themselves up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Life With Camel

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr prompt from [PilferingApples](http://archiveofourown.org/users/PilferingApples/pseuds/PilferingApples): _Bossuet, Joly, a random camel_

"Look at it!" Joly exclaimed, face pressed up against the bars of the pen in the  _Jardin des Plantes_.

"What  _is_  it?” Bossuet asked, fascinated and repulsed in turn by the bizarre beast.

"A camel, just arrived from Arabia," Joly said, stepping back. 

"What’s that great lump on its back? It’s not deformed, is it?"

"It does look a bit like a highly deformed version of the giraffe, doesn’t it?" Joly mused. "I think I read somewhere that it’s a great inner sack of water. They’re creatures of the desert, so it would make sense for Nature to have provided them with a built-in water butt."

"And if they’ve drank all their water supply? Does their hump deflate like a crumpled bag?"

Joly, struck by this image of the camel with a flabby, deflated hump flopped over its side, snickered. “I don’t know. That would be a sight to see, though, wouldn’t it? Or, oh! But they ride them — the Arabs do, I mean. And can you imagine? Sitting on the back of the camel, and its hump just goes fffffft,” Joly said, pressing his hands downwards and imitating the sound he imagined a deflating hump would make. 

Bossuet started laughing, too. “Just sinking down.”

"Fffft," Joly said again, breaking out into fresh laughter.

"It’d—it’d make dismounting easier," Bossuet gasped out before cracking up again. 

"No, but if it’s inflated, you could," Joly said, trying to get the words out between fits of giggles, "you could slide down off it. Like a banister." More laughter.

An elderly couple, who had also paused to admire the camel, shot the two laughing young men (Joly by this point was starting incorporate hiccups into his giggles) a look of severe disapproval.

"Sorry, Madame, Monsieur," Bossuet said, trying desperately to maintain a serious expression. "Jolllly, are you all right?"

"I’m —  _hic_  — fine, I’m just…humps, you know?” 

"Come, perhaps we’d better leave these fine citizens to admire the camel in peace."

“ _Hic_  — right, I just —  _hic_  — right.” Joly took a deep breath, pressed his lips together, and smoothed down his coat, schooling his expression, then quite ruining the effect by hiccuping again. “Do you want to —  _hic_  — want to look at the giraffe before we go?”

"A capital idea! Lead on, my friend," Bossuet said. Then, grinning mischievously, he added, "Ffffft."

Joly completely lost his newfound composure, and Bossuet joined him in laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> No idea if the Jardin des Plantes actually had a camel back in the late 1820s/early 1830s, but they apparently had one by the time of the Paris Commune, and the present-day zoo has some, housed in the Rotunde, which was extant during canon-era (the famous giraffe was also housed there).
> 
> The hump on camels’ backs is actually a big fat deposit, not full of water. It can deflate a bit if the camel burns off enough of the fat, but it does not make a “fffft” noise as it deflates, to the best of my knowledge.


End file.
